today i thought to myself, "hey, you don't have to be happy, you know." because sometimes i feel that burden - like good things are happening to me and I'm supposed to be happy - yet I feel a vacuum instead. I think it's ok, I don't have to feel what people expect me to feel. I'm not obliged to feel happy, I'm bothered by some things, does not mean that I'm not being grateful. I feel content thinking these thoughts, like I'm free.