111217 pt 1

I think I'm sick! I also feel like I can't ignore the problem of my early morning wakefulness any longer. I went to a clinic and they said, either I'm pregnant or I have acid reflux. I'm pretty sure it's not the first case although I threw my kit away a few seconds too early. Anyway, I feel like this is part of... growing up? Being diagnosed with conditiones, one at a time. I think I need to take care of my health... what's the use of all the rest if I don't have my mind and my body? It's time to be selfish.

Well, I want to quit smoking. Haven't smoked for 4 or 5 days. I'm gonna cut down gradually, or only smoke when I drink. Not gonna drink so much as well. It feels soooo bittersweet, like it's hard to let go of this, like hey I don't wanna grow up... but I know I must. I just don't know if it's too early? It feels so fast.... I just hope it'll help with my early morning wakefulness.