42.

It's almost over, the curtain will soon be closed.
And now, what?
I don't feel like eating strawberry shortcake or watching cheesy flicks anymore.
I don't care if you're not gonna give me a hug when we part, if you're not gonna say goodnight or good morning.
All the longing feelings, are gradually fleeting away, the list of my demands on you is getting shorter and shorter each second.

Until there's only one thing left; to be with you.

Corbeau

"I guess I've been waiting so long I'm looking for perfection. That makes it tough."

"Waiting for the perfect love?"

"No, even I know better than that. I'm looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortbread. And you stop everything you're doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortbread out to me. And I say I don't want it any more and throw it out of the window. That's what I'm looking for."

"I'm not sure that has anything to do with love."

"It does. You just don't know it. There are times in a girl's life when things like that are incredibly important."

"Things like throwing strawberry shortbread out of the window?"

"Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. 'Now I see, Midori. What a fool I've been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortbread. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I'll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?"'

"So then what?"

"So then I'd give him all the love he deserves for what he's done."

"Sounds crazy to me."

"Well, to me, that's what love is. Not that anyone can understand me, though. For a certain kind of person, love begins from something tiny or silly. From something like that or it doesn't begin at all."


Even from the first time I realised that you've been in love with me, I always question. How much? How much do you love me? And I'd start thinking: what if I really ask you, hand a questionnaire which I have prepared in advance, with various questions that will tell me how far your love will go for me? Like, will you not smoke in front of me, will you be willing to accept my ulterior unstability, will you watch cheesy flicks with me, will you care and go buy strawberry shortbread or cheesecakes or chocolate mousse everyday for me...

That, of course, never happened. Instead we were going out, there was no confession and confusion like what most other couples go through. And therefore, I stopped having the urge to ask you such questions. Not only because they sound stupid and lame, but I am also no longer interested to know the answer.

Because I don't need those questions to find out: I already know that—you don't, you have never loved me that much.