200420

Why you should have faith:
1. You have seen people with worse mental disorders (bipolar, etc) have healthy relationships
2. Your relationship with your parents before were in deep shit, but now it is greater than ever!
3. You need anchors in your life and you have them
4. There is always a solution

Resources:
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/dating-someone-with-anxiety-what-you-need-to-know-and-do/
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-anxiety-can-cause-relationship-problems-1393090
Ginger (the app! - https://techcrunch.com/2019/09/04/ginger-an-mit-spinout-providing-app-based-mental-health-coaching-to-workers-raises-35m/)

This blurb:
Anxiety has nothing to do with courage or character. Nothing at all.
Courage is feeling the edge of yourself and moving beyond it. We all have our limits but people with anxiety are just more aware of theirs. Despite this, they are constantly facing up to the things that push against their edges. That’s courage, and people with anxiety have it in truckloads. Remind them that you see who they are and that this has nothing to do with that anxiety thing they do sometimes. People with anxiety are strong – you have to be to live with something like that. They’re sensitive – they’ll be as sensitive to you and what you need as they are to their environment. That makes them pretty awesome to be with. They’re reliable – to control for the potential of something triggering an attack, anxious people will go the extra step to make sure there’s a plan and that everyone is safe, happy and have everything they need. They’re intelligent – they’re thinkers (which is what gets in their way sometimes). They can be funny, kind, brave and spirited. So I suppose it’s like this – they’re no different to anyone else. As with everyone, the thing that trips them up sometimes (their anxiety) is also the thing that lifts them above the crowd.

Don’t try to make sense of what’s happening.
People with anxiety know that their anxiety doesn’t make sense. That’s what makes it so difficult. Explaining that there’s nothing to worry about won’t mean anything – it just won’t – because they already know this. (Oh boy do they know this!) They would have told themselves not to worry a billion times the number of times you’ve said it to them. If it hasn’t helped so far then one more won’t make a difference. Be understanding, calm and relaxed and above all else, just be there. Anxiety feels flighty and there’s often nothing that feels better than having someone beside you who’s grounded, available and okay to go through this with you without trying to change you. Telling them not to worry is as effective as asking you not to think about pink elephants. Really try not to think about pink elephants swinging from a vine. With flowers in their hair. Just stop thinking about them, those crazy big pink babes. See how that works?

200420

Hello. Do I have to announce that I'm here again? It's a process of trial and error, I believe. Okay, let's get practical. Was listening to Pema's video while I could not get some sleep. Fell asleep then got woken up again, then listened to the whole thing. By this time, everything to me sounds like the same thing....and I realized it's not about all the theories. It's all about how you feel. E.g. letting go, fearlessness, tenderness, acceptance, surrender, etc.... and I am scared that I will never get there. I really don't know whether I'm making any progress. Sometimes I feel like I get a glimpse of them, but sometimes I also lose them. But for now, I am just going to list things that make me feel better:

1. Exercising
2. Meditating
3. Pam (with a certain hangover)
4. Controlled breathing
5. Talking to a friend
6. Yoga/Yin Yoga
7. Sleep (if possible)
8. "We're all in the same boat"
9. Knowing that there are people going through the same thing
10. Acceptance
11. Talking to my mom
12. Hugging my pet
13. Try religious rituals?